The last of 2011

my pretty babe :D

Can’t believe that the year will be ending just like that! What have I accomplished this year, seriously?!

Hmmm.. Spent half the year w/o bf, experienced the torture of LDR, spent quite a few weekends partying (that’s an understatement actually hahaha), grew stronger and more independent.. & with regard to studying, I SERIOUSLY have hell a lot to catch up on. That’s one of the reasons why I dread the arrival of 2012 because I’d have no reason to procrastinate any longer. Perhaps I should just enjoy the last bit of 2011 thoroughly before I start studying officially. Yeaa, officially. SIGH.

Happy new year, folks! The best thing to do tomorrow night or rather tonight would be to DRINK/DANCE/PARTY&WHATEVER THE NIGHT AWAYYYYY!! <3

Yet another closure and hereby welcoming the start of another, bittersweet much.

PS. Oh & the last ladies' night of the year wasn't THAT awesome at all.

♥ Nights that turned into mornings ♥

#zouk&one-altitude

Pictures from the last bit of partying for 6 consecutive weekends! We'd stopped the hardcore partying for good! Hahahaha ;D Have been party&alcohol-free for 3 weeks and I'm already having withdrawal symptoms. Ahhh that's bad :/ Miss those nights when I don't have to care a shit about anything. Seriously.

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Home alone on X'mas eve.. rather upset about it but what can I say?

I wish I can let loose and have fun right now.

Merry Kissmas everybody ♥

thesetaintedkisses.tumblr.com

RCGC!

(Paya Lebar Airbase; Airforce musuem)

Congratulations my dear!

Commissioning parade in another 3 weeks' time! The parade that I've been wanting to see! Excited much ;> heehee

Dentist = Dreadful

I thought I could have avoided the dentist but hell nooooo I was so wrong :( Think I've to visit the dentist for real to fix the hole or whatever. FOR REAL. I'M SO UPSET NOW. WHYWHYWHY?!! I seriously hate going to the dentist. It's so fucking dreadful! :( I remember my second last visit was last December.. Just before X'mas too. SOMEBODY PLEASE KILL ME NOW :'( I think I'm gonna cry at the dentist again.. It's a panic attack kind of thing. (Thank god B is around to accompany me to the dentist, else I'll just DIE!!)
Sigh, poor me :'(

Vicious circle

"Well-behaved women rarely make history." - Marilyn Monroe

Procrastination is a vicious circle. I'm stuck in this for the longest of time and that's really unfortunate. Same weekly routine all over again, I seriously need to break this. This is the last week of school before the 2 weeks term break. December is coming to an end soon when I thought it has barely even started. I'm forever repeating the same old thing but I'm just not doing anything about it.. how depressing can this get. SIGH AH.

Thursday

Where did the days without worries go to?

Realised that I've been using sleep as a form of escape. No wonder I've been sleeping more than usual lately. If only I could sleep all my troubles and problems away.. Sigh, self-denial & self-delusional mode once again. I know it doesn't work that way, it doesn't.

Hold on

I've so many pictures which I've not uploaded! Look at how long ago these were taken.. Halloween '11. It's already the last month of the year! Time has been passing way too quickly! Seriously, where did all the time go to?!! Sometimes I wish that time is within my control. I need a time machine. Suddenly I don't want this year to end so soon.

Hold on a little longer.

Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste. ♥

Fucked-up

Feels like I'm living in self-denial. This is bad, real bad.

I shouldn't even be bothered by all these and shouldn't let these things bother me. Wish I know what I'm thinking and what I really want because apparently, I don't.

Never ever once did.

Get yourself together, Tracy Tan. Stop all these nonsense. You're not being fair.

Where's that line between what's right and what's wrong? I'm losing myself in this debate. Then again, thinking doesn't help a single bit. What do you do when your conscience pricks you? When is this going to end? I don't want to find myself going through this over again and again. What do I do? Tell myself that it will all get better in time? Please let it not be another self-consolatory statement. I'm trying not to let all these bring me down. I'm trying, really am trying. All in all, I only have myself to blame.

How fucked up can this get, seriously?

"Tell me how can I let go of all the things that shouldn't even matter? Because all these really shake and fuck me up inside." Oh great.

One of the biggest problems with me is that I tend to think a lot and honestly this fucking kill me. It fucking does.