Emma Hewitt - Miss You Paradise (Shogun Remix)

LOVE THIS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Can the week please end soon?!

SIAN. In about 8h, I'll be the office fighting against time all over again! Sometimes I wonder, why am I staying on something when I'm actually unhappy? Then I realised, this is life. We can't get to do what we truly want because of one simple logic. When you gain something, you'll lose another. Very often, the something that you gain will outweigh the loss, so ultimately you'll be stuck in this vicious cycle for the longest of time. Sigh.

Met up with the girls for din on 2 nights last week. We were talking about the good old times, recapping almost every single one of our clubbing nights (it's AMAZING how we could we still what exactly happened!!! Hahahaha hilarious much seriously), suntanning sessions, impromptu stayed out at the airport times, singing, shopping & everything! It's so awesome to just talk all night, if only we've the time! x

Okay sooooo, I don't know? I'm kind of lazy to go for interviews now although I'm still contemplating of quitting my current! Yes turned down a few other offers recently and I don't know why did I even do that?! Probably cos the pay isn't as high as what my current is offering me.. yeah still.. sigh I'm just SO INDECISIVE. Can never make up my mind on what I want and I guess I might just stay put here till the end of my contract. Sigh. I'm shortlisted for an interview with SGX tomorrow and I'm just thinking if I should go for it. They're offering A LOT (Honestly it's a lot!). Yes too much for a 3 months contract and actually that kind of puts me off b'cos I know nothing comes easy!!!!! The pay is incredibly high. Another one at ANZ, omg frigging high as well. I don't know? It's too scary somehow.

I may always complain about studies and exams but really, I'm glad that I'm still a student! Working is just so.. I honestly want to do something which I'll enjoy doing in time to come BUT what are the odds?!

PS. Happy 81st, B!! <3 It's seriously amazing how you're able to tolerate my nonsense and have been patient with me all these while despite me being so annoying & irritating at times!! (Yes I do know that!)  Kissssssssssssses :*)  xoxo

Insecure

Honestly, I don't know how much longer can I take this. What's with that attitude? For the entire week, I've been looking forward to having a quality conversation but it turned out to be nothing like what I expected. I'm upset about it. Why does it seem so hard to communicate when you're so far away?

Insecurity has always been an issue and it sucks so fucking badly.
I’m such an insecure bitch, I admit I am. I want to fucking grow up and get out of this shit. Paranoia, insecurity and trust issues. It will haunt me all over again. BITCH PLEASE. C told me a long ago that I'll grow out of this. He was right because yes I did, but why is it coming back again? The distance is seriously screwing me up. You should definitely be thankful if you haven't been through one because I swear you wouldn't want to go through all these shit.

It's impossible to fathom the torture of such unless one had experienced it. It's true.

Six days

Last Friday @ Hatched.

You know, you know, it's almost Friday and I haven't talked to him on skype since he left! :( He did call me and we only talk for about 3 mins or less each day? It sucks, it really does.

Where are you, dear?

PS. I'm in the mood for some questions.

www.formspring.me/tracysays

Short & brief

Just a sneak peek of our kite flying dated back to March!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My dear boy flew off on Saturday night. We didn't bid goodbye with such a heavy heart this time probably 'cos we've been through this before. I'll get to see him on the 6th weekend from now! Sigh.

Before departure :( Huggggg*

Guess what? I've started work on Monday. Too soon right!! This is my 3rd bank/banking related job & I've truly understood the true meaning of doing 'sai job'. The workload is seriously too much for me to handle! I can't imagine what time am I gonna OT till after my mentor leaves in a week's time!!  >:(  I don't know if I can survive 3 months of this shit. The reason why I'm staying for now is because of the pay! I guess it's only fair that I've to do this much of work for being paid this amount.. but honestly the volume is insane. Manual work IS tedious.

To be continued...

Goodnight world! Tomorrow will be another battle at work. Sigh.

Havana Brown - We Run The Night (Explicit) ft. Pitbull

ON REPLAY ;)  <33

Home on a Thursday

It's been a while since I've updated this space, proper. Exams are officially over and my 4 months of summer break started 3days ago! I've been sending my resume to wherever that permits me to. Was just thinking if I made a wrong decision to turn AIA down yesterday :< The thought of doing processing and reports for an insurance company again is.. nonono. Yesterday, my phone burst with calls from agents but it died down today :( call me quick, somebody.

Okay so I mentioned about my root canal previously.. guess what? Root canal part 1 is done!! It wasn't that bad after all but come to think of it now, I can't believe I actually did it. It's definitely a massive treatment. Part 2 to be completed in July and crowning after that!

I was given at least 4 jabs of local anaesthesia!!! I was so fearful of the jab but thank god Dr Sim applied some numb gel before injecting me with the anaesthesia. It wasn't exactly painless but it was bearable. The LA lasted for about 6 - 7 hours! I couldn't speak nor eat nor drink because it was way too numb, really. I supposed he cleaned my canals and removed the nerves already. There's this huge white correction-fluid look-alike temporary filling on my tooth now. Really thankful that B was there with me throughout to boost my courage. He held my hand when I was given the first jab hahaa sounds silly but I needed that! <3

I don't feel any weird discomfort on my tooth now and it feels perfectly normal :) but the thing is Dr Sim told me I've 2 tiny cavities on the teeth nearby :( Till then, Dr Koh will do something about it.

I really regretted being such a lazy kid in the past who didn't like to brush teeth! Now I spend at least 15 mins brushing and flossing my teeth each time! Many people do not have the habit of visiting the dentist regularly but it is definitely important to do so!

Okay, so much about dental issues.

2 more days before B leaves for X. It doesn't feel real at all :( Sigh.. I really hate how we can't talk on the phone like how we do as and when we want. It's gonna be skype, skype and more skype. Skype sucksssss, I swear. I hate the distance apart. I hate how I can't get to see you weekly. I hate how I can't be in your arms till 1.5 month later. I'm gonna miss you so much even though you won't be away for that long :( Just 2 more days, baby. Why are you at work today?! :<

1.46 am

2 more days before B's departure. Doesn't feel real. Sighhh, here we go again. 1.5 month this time round.
Baby, please don't go.

Root canal treatment

Hello folks!! It's officially 4 papers down for me! One last one to go on Monday. POA, please please please be a dear. I'll leave studying for POA till tomorrow because it's time to recover my sleep debt and get recharged for now. Too drained.

I haven't mentioned that I went to the dentist again just last Monday because of the throbbing pain in a tooth whenever I bite down. Guess what? The verdict turned out to be one of my greatest nightmares. I was told that I've to get a root canal done. I literally just died in the clinic. It's impossible to type out my fear in words. SIGH. I never fail to cry whenever I visit the dentist even if it's just for a normal check-up or just to get a filling or two done. Can you understand how dreadful and fearful I am now? ROOT CANAL :'(

The mere mention of nerve treatment or root canal sounds terribly painful. Is this so?

In the majority of cases, root canal work is painless, often done under a local anaesthetic. It is the rare case when the initial treatment may cause you some discomfort or slight pain, which can be overcome subsequently with a suitable anaesthetic technique. It is therefore a fallacy to think that nerve treatment is painful, as it often is no more unpleasant than filling a tooth.

I googled about root canal and how painful it would be (okay I know pain is subjective but still!!). Note: Root canal is a treatment not a surgery. This is from the FAQ section on the SDHF website:

Sounds rather painless other than the local anaesthetic. & the last statement?!! REALLY?? Removing the nerves is just like doing a tooth filling?! Okay, I've read online and also heard from friends that it isn't THAT painful. I shouldn't feel pain after the local anaesthetic. Yea, the nurse reassured me about that. AHHH.. but look, it's about drilling the tooth, removing the nerves and poking the canals with a long sharp probe. Just reading it is horrifying enough isn't it? :'''( By the way, the entire treatment will take 3 sessions :'( The first 2 sessions will be done at the endodontist and crowning will be done by a normal dentist. Be brave, Tracy.

The thought of the local anaesthetic makes me wanna cry, really.

PS. By the way, the dull pain when I bite down is gone. It lasted me about 3 days?

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH. WHY ME?!!!