Start over.

Albeit scarred by those words and actions, let me have faith in us all over again. We'll do fine, picking up from where we left off. Faith, hope and love.

After what seems like forever, he's finally home :') Our lack of communication days will finally be over for good. Communication, one of the key factors to make a relationship work. At last :)

Although it's already 30th June, nevertheless happy 82nd ♥  :*)

3AM

HTHT with L at my void deck till 1am.

#Relationships. Sometimes we'll never get the answers to our questions and I guess it might be better to leave certain things as it is. There's no need for further clarification to complicate matters which might bring about arguments.

Read and quoted:

“And for those who are in a relationship, I just want you to know that EVERY relationship loses its spark after awhile. It is scientifically proven that it happens after 3 years(or 2, i can’t really remember). It feels like ‘deadness’ submerged into the relationship, you feel bored or uninterested etc. It’s perfectly normal, AND IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU STOPPED LOVING THE PERSON. It only means you’ve forgotten how it feels to be in love, but you still love. If you break up with someone because you think “feelings faded” for that person, it’s only gonna keep happening to every relationship you’re gonna have. Every beautiful memories you have created with your boyfriend when you guys were in love will be the strength you need to continue loving him in a brand new way.”

IT’S TRUE.

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Mobile uploads:

Huan's 21st! First in the clique to turn 21!

Midweek's mood-lifter :)

Paradise Dynasty's colourful XLBs.

Saturday.

Drained.

Dinner @ bugis after the shoot. 

Guilty much :/

I stopped eating dragon fruit ever since one of the tiny black seeds got stuck in my cavity 2 years back!! That was the cavity which led to my first filling and root canal :'''( 

Mochi love. x

xoxo

OLD HABITS DIE HARD. I seriously need to stop going to bed in the wee hours of the day!!

3.18AM: Goodnight, world.

I love you.

Read your old blog. Posts written a really long time ago, dated back to August 2005. Your truest feelings made me tear, yes it did. It felt just like yesterday when you loved me so much that you never would want to let go of me. It seemed too unlike you to be so crazy over me, but you did. I knew those words were real, I knew you meant them all & I knew how significant I was to you.

Dawned upon me how much we have grown and how much things have changed over these years. It’s amazing how we started off, it’s beautiful how love used to be so genuine and real. I realized why did I fall for you back then. You were you, the guy whom I used to know, the guy who loved me despite all my shortcomings.

Right now, I couldn’t see him in you any more. I love you, but where did you go?

Photoshoot

 Photoshoot with the girls on Saturday! ♥

TBC.

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I'm thankful for the people around me, the people whom I know I can count on and those who will be there :*)

A fallacy.

"How many times do we forgive someone just because we don't want to lose them, even though they don't deserve our forgiveness?"

It's not exactly forgiving, more like letting things be and forgetting it? Sometimes knowing more will make me feel worse, but I don't want to live in self-denial. Contradictory as it may be, half-truths or lies?

Seeing is believing. I want to believe that everything is fine but how can I do so when I've seen evidences of all these shit? I honestly want to believe but I can't anymore. I knew things aren't like before and you just proved me right. Everything is going down. What have I done wrong to deserve all these? Avoidance doesn't mean that the problems are non-existent. Don't tell me NOTHING when there's actually SOMETHING. I really want to know what the fuck is going on.  You've never made me feel this terrible. Why won't you tell me what is wrong? Why won't you?

Fairytales are full of shit. I used to believe in 'happily ever after' but now, I realised it's a fallacy. True love? Is there even such a thing to begin with?

Faith?

5 RULES FOR HAPPINESS

#1. Free your mind from worries.

#2. Free your heart from hatred.

#3. Live simply.

#4. Give more.

#5. Expect less.

We just have to keep running to stay where we are. Keeping it going isn't easy, giving up is. It's really about constantly putting in the effort. You just have to want it bad enough. I want it, do you? Sometimes I really wonder how some people can be absolutely optimistic when you know the situation is just bad. Like, bad. It doesn't work for me to believe in faith anymore. Somehow it just doesn't work that way. I need to see it happen but very often, it doesn't. What's faith? Where's faith?

Rough patch. Perhaps I'm stronger than yesterday? I should be, I need to be, I will be.

8 more days, I'm still pushing my limits.

We're not losing it all, are we? It's too awful, I don't want things to change. I don't know, maybe I'm just being me, paranoid, but then again the change is way too drastic. It's frightening.

I hate how the tables are turned.

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Caught the flu bug again :( Blocked nose, bad throat, headaches, feeling feverish, weariness.

It's a package.

Yet another wasted night.

Guess what happened? I got wasted AGAIN last Saturday. Sighhhhh the first time I did, I told myself I won't get wasted ever again and great I got myself drunk again. The thing is I thought I was perfectly fine, like just usual high, because I was still okay till I stepped onto the dancefloor! I realised my memory lasted till then. I only remembered hearing 'Dance Again' and I was gone after that. Seriously?!!

L said they had to use a garbage bag to cover me because I was lying too unglamly. Way too unsightly for the public eyes hahahaha. I must have been crazy because I was drunk crying! Couldn't remember why did I cry either. Woke up from my state of drunkenness at 8am only to find myself at Macs with L and the guys. Came home with both falsies missing! How on earth did both even come off?!! Too ridiculous. & I never thought that I would find strange pictures in my camera. Had bruises all over! My cheeks hurt, I'd huge bruises on both arms, knee, legs and even my back!! How on earth?! Tell me, tell me! I guess it's just like that.. Weird things happen when you're wasted.

My hangover was seriously terrible. It lasted for 2 days and for the whole time I'd the urge to puke but nothing came out :( It was reallyyyyyyyyyyy bad!!! That would seriously be the LAST TIME I'm going to be so frigging wasted. Last time. If I'm ever gonna get wasted again, I'll honestly stop partying for good. Abstain, abstain! I guess I need to have more self-control, damn it.

Alcohol is not going to make me puke again. Period.

7 years, I thought our love is strong enough. Why must you prove me wrong? How could you bear to make me feel this way? How could you?
It was far more unbearable than I thought it would be. Failed to hold back my tears and I broke down in front of L. It's too much for me to handle. Just too much.

Sometimes, it hurts to know. It really does.

Why

Just when I thought we're fine, things happened again. All over again. I've been trapped in this emotion turbulence for too long. Can you explain your actions? I'm really disappointed, upset, confused and hurt. Why am I always crying because of you? Why can't it be the other way round? How many times, really? Why can't we communicate? Why is distance killing everything between us? Why aren't you anxious about me? Why is love like this? Do I even mean a thing to you still? Why?

Jaded

I read through my tumblr and realised how upset I've been lately.
Where can we find trust?


It feels so numb like as if I've just been given a jab of anaesthesia.

From L's fb!

Can’t believe I bought this 5 inches high wedge!! I couldn’t resist it bcos it’s so pretty! #Impulsivebuy I totally forgot about my height. 5inches = ~18cm?? I’ll be like what 164 + 18 = 182cm?!! Tell me when can I ever wear this out? I wanted to wear to B's sis's wedding in Oct but... I'll look like a giant

:((( CANNOT.  Sighhhhhhhhhhhh. Pretty pair but not exactly practical.

*******

Countdown

26 days more.

What's with the 7th year in a r/s?

Has it occurred to you that many people don't really mean what they say?

I know I should leave no room for comparison but it's inevitable.

I think it's time I make you come to me by letting go but honestly, it's so hard. It's really tough.

Yesterday, I'd dinner with clique and F was telling me about the 7th year obstacle thing. I've heard about it some time ago and people said in the 7th year of a relationship, things will take a change at this point. Couples who survived their 7th year will be back to honeymoon period in their 8th year. How true? Of course this doesn't apply to every relationship. I guess sometimes it's the way how you look at it which would affect the way how things would be? It's just a word of caution.

Then I came across an article which mentioned that the traditional seven-year itch where relationships start to cool has become a 'three-year glitch' given the pressures of modern life. Hmmm..