Dear love,

I miss us.

Cried all over again when mom told me, “Don’t be sad. When you’re sad I won’t be happy too.” Even dad realised the change in me. He asked mom, “Why is she unusually quiet these few days?” I need to find a reason to be happy again. Sorry for making those who care and love me worry about me :'''( Sigh.

Those memories just keep haunting me. Remember how you would say hi to me every morning in school? Remember how you would wave at me from your classroom whenever you see me? Remember the first time you waited for me after school just to walk me to my stop? Remember how was our first date like? Remember the cake you baked for me? Remember how we spoke in our own love language? Remember that rainy day when you sheltered me using just your jacket? Remember how you would pick me up almost every single day after work? Remember there was once you waited 2 hours for me to appear? Remember you always insisted on walking me home despite me saying no and you still tailed me back? Remember our first time dancing under the night sky? Remember how silly you would behave when you're intoxicated? Remember how much you enjoy disturbing me because you love to see me getting annoyed? Remember how I refused to soak my feet in the fish pond at farmart but you still made me do it? Remember our swimming sessions? Remember those times when you had to hold my hands at the dentist because I’m always afraid? Remember how we would spend almost every Saturday together? Remember how we would say 'I love you' to each other before falling asleep? Remember how many years of anniversary and birthdays we've spent together? Remember you’re supposed to attend my graduation in 2014? Remember those plans we made? Remember how we would talk about our future which sounded so near? Remember how unbearable it was for us to bid goodbye at the airport, twice? Remember how tough it was for us to get through our long distance relationship in 2011? Remember how you would always tell me not to be afraid because you'll be there to protect me? Do you even remember?

Meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I thought we're made for each other, our families and friends thought so too. But why did things turn out to be like this? Our love didn’t come easy at all but I guess all these aren’t of much significance to you anymore. Why can’t we salvage this? I refuse to believe this is it. Baby, we haven’t tried our best. Why can’t we try? Where did you go?

Yes, indeed it hurts so fucking badly but I still love you. Every time I think about you, think about us, I find myself crying all over again. Can you please tell me this is entirely a horrible prank or just another bad dream which I'll come around to soon? Please, baby. This is one major hurdle. If we manage to get through this phase, we would have proven our love worthy. Perhaps the both of us need some time to calm our hearts and sort out our feelings. I still have that bit of hope in us, don't kill it. Time will tell and love will find a way.